This picture of McCree with Maury is so ironic.
I hate going to conferences late — especially when the topic is sex. My colleague and I squeezed into the packed room at Savera and settled on the only two seats behind a giggling elderly lady in a pink dress and a poker-faced old man with a walking stick. The 26th National Conference on Sexology was in full swing in Chennai, where sex is sometimes a four-letter word.
Hani Miletski, the 48-year-old sexologist with a Natalie Portman haircut and a zebra dress, was not quite an entertainer as a speaker, but her case studies were. She was speaking on “A day in the life of a sex therapist.’ We missed her earlier part of the day, and by the time we reached the venue she was well into her late afternoon. “At 4 pm, I saw Sushma,” the US-based therapist said, the presentation on the screen showing a crayon sketch of a sad-looking woman. Sushma an Indian in the US, was left with her grandma since the age of four. Her world revolved around her grandma and she had no social life. Now 38, Sushma has never had a sexual intercourse.
“At 5 pm, John walks in,” Miletski continued. John, who has a prostate problem, is married thrice. He used to have intercourse thrice a week, each lasting 20 minutes with multiple orgasms. So, what’s his problem? Well, the duration of his intercourse has been growing and now it stands at one hour. Miletski spoke about another client of hers, a 70-year-old man who felt ashamed to face his wife after he got aroused when a nurse was doing a rectal examination on him. “I told him that it is quite common for some men to get aroused when touched there. He went back a happy man and that was the shortest therapy I had done,” Miletski said.
What struck me the most was Miletski’s comment that hers was a “lonely life.” Before the audience could get ideas, she explained: “I mean an ideal sex therapist’s professional life is a lonely one. You listen to the most intimate details of your clients’ lives, but offer nothing about yours. Your only body contact with your client is a brief handshake.”
At coffee break, I chatted up Miletski. “Some cardiologists have heart problems,” I started, “some dermatologists get rashes…” At this, Miletski interrupted me. “Oh, ok, you are a journalist… and you have a question about my sex life?” I politely replied “no,” and put the question straight: “If a sexologist has a sex problem, should she treat herself?” Miletski’s immediate answer was “I don’t know,” and I liked that honesty. She did think about it and answered it better a few minutes later: “It helps being a sexologist to understand one’s own problem, but sometimes it is better to take the help of another sexologist.”
Later I found out that Miletski is an Israel-born American having a good practice in Bethesda, Maryland. She is the author of two books, Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia; and Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo Persists.
Other findings of Miletski:* Boys have sex with buffalos in rural India
* Urban women tutor dogs to have intercourse with them
* A group of frequent flyers travel in search of stallions
* 8% men and 4% women in the US have sex with animals